We tried Prechewed™ for a week. Here's what happened to our jaws.
Seven days of pre-oral nutrition, one reviewer, three reluctant conclusions.
For seven days in February, I ate nothing that required chewing. All of my calories came from Prechewed pouches — a mix of The Daily Bolus, Cacio e Pepe, Pad Thai, Ribeye, Tonkotsu, and, on day 5, because I felt I owed it to the review, Thanksgiving.
The product works. That is the most honest thing I can say. Each pouch tastes, as Prechewed claims, remarkably close to the dish it's modeled on — not identical, but within a 90%-ish window of recognition. Texture is uniformly silken, which is either the best thing about Prechewed or the worst thing, depending on what you think food should be.
By day 3, I noticed something I was not prepared for. I had approximately 40 extra minutes in my day. By day 5, I had noticed it twice. By day 7, I had grown attached to those minutes in a way that felt, honestly, a little concerning.
The company's marketing centers on 'jaw-hours reclaimed.' I was skeptical of the phrase before starting this review. I am less skeptical now. My jaw feels fine — a little underused, perhaps, but fine — and my calendar feels noticeably different.
The question I kept returning to, throughout the week, was whether Prechewed is a food company or a productivity company. It is, clearly, the latter wearing the clothes of the former. Whether that is a problem depends entirely on how you feel about productivity products that happen to contain your meals.
I would try the Ribeye again. I would not try the Thanksgiving again. I finished the review on day 7 with a regular sandwich, which took me nineteen minutes.